| 4th time i'm gg in |
[Nov. 8th, 2009|06:08 am] |
3rd time tt i'm out,
faith n positivity is something i felt very needed in army, well to understand all things happened for good truly, it allows u to go through anything. i'm not being simple minded.. but realli tt's wat i felt in army, things like having a field camp of 5 days, 4 day n night was raining, fifth day had some lightning flashing but no rain eventually but later i tell u wat happen.. ok 4 night was de toughest, we dug a "grave" for ourselves, which is call shell scrape, den it rain so heavily, inside was already mashy during noon, as de soil become wet, den during the ngiht, it rain heavily non stop, so all grave became a fish tank, n being human n not fish, we weren't able to take the cold weather, super cold n wet all over, de boots inside, all water... i almost wanted to give out, to see MO aka medical officer,like the many others, there was about 30 holes around me, abt 10-12 gave up when de rain was pouring... i told myself to stay clear in my mind n be strong, so suddenly i remembered i got solid fuels given by army to cook, i took it out n asked all my shivering buddies, to my grave n we started a mini-camp fire, everibody rationing their solid fuel, i burnt n in charge of the fire till 4am from 1am, many fell asleep ard my hole, due to the warm.. n i went to slp at 4 after no more solid fuel left, it was realli cold, but i told myself de rain was for good, n i trust in my ppl i know who pray for mi, my grp didn't kana tekan much, thanks to kenrick n those who prayed for mi.. then next day it was fridae.. becos many ppl was sick n cannot take it anymore, somehow the management allow us to go back to company line aka my bunk on fridae night, instead of staying 1 more night in de grave... weee other ppl had 6 daes field camp mine onli 5, maybe the rain was for this... hahah
now tt i'm booked out, i feel hmm rather sian i tink, nothing much to do on sg, i feel i dun realli got time to go out, missing my own service due to late release i was onli in sg at 3 so rather impossible to teleport there, unless i go there in my wet n muddy boots, hmm then i went home, n it seems no one is free to go out with, so practically stayed home..i oso onli realise that cg was on saturdae tis week only when i booked out, so it's like all my plans are gone n i got nth to do, other than gg service myself, i mean all my frens booked out to meet their gf n stuff.. well my plan everi week is to go to service n cg, n now that i can't do tt.. i feel rather lost at what to do,life seems to be stagnant...
i started to realise, positivity can onli bring u to a certain level, faith without work is dead.. it's like.. devil start to give me doubt, spiritual backbone mus be strong, to go through such dryness period. u mus realli haf a firm foundation lor, time is short, body is physically tired, but i will persevere, it's realli wrestling not with flesh n blood, it's all in my mind.. the constant struggles that comes..fellowship of the saints, is realli important..
dun worry, i'm strong .. jus that i'm expressing my thoughts.. trying to understand y ppl sae army life is tough time.. i start to agree.. but i believe wat doesn't kill u only makes u stronger
i jus hope i can go do some shopping tis afternn.. haha or catch a movie, let mi live a civilian life, it's been long since i caught a movie
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